4/30/2006 - Demanding Toddler

Ugh. I'm right in the middle of trying to switch all of these posts and pictures over to the new blogspot website and it's just dragging me down. I spend so much time (due mostly to my anal-retentive nature) trying to make sure that everything is spaced perfectly, and switched over perfectly, and the posts are all just so, that I lose whatever it is I logged on to write about in the first place. I'm missing the whole point of the journal because of my obsessive need to have things exactly right.

I hope that I don't end up being like that with Joshua. I'm really trying so hard to let him be himself, and do things on his own, when every part of my being is screaming for me to help him, do it for him, at least just show him how to do it. And so Joshua and I are finding ourselves clashing in this way, because he has entered a "Joshua do it" stage.

Joshua shut door. Joshua shut door. Joshua SHUT DOOR. He screams until you open the door again so that he can shut it himself.

We also go through "Joshua brush teeth." "Joshua shoes on." "Joshua diaper off." "Joshua DO IT," and so on, and so on. It would be amusing if he weren't so insistent every minute of the day about it. Of course, there are the variations, because sometimes Tigger actually has to do things for him. The best part is watching Joshua grab Tigger's little stuffed paw, and use it to shut the lid to the toilet, or the door, or whatever else it is he wants Tigger to do.

Also, we've been talking a lot about moving to Oklahoma so that Joshua can get used to the idea. Not that he actually knows what moving is, but I figure that the more we introduce him to the idea, the less foreign it will be to him when it actually happens. Oh, and I guess I should mention that the move actually is happening. Not this month, of course, and maybe not next month either. Okay, so I guess we don't know much more than we did previously, but we've heard that there's a position available. That's the news. Tim's director called him last week to let him know, but didn't have any details. The long and the short of it is that we won't find out until this coming week. But we're excited enough to start looking with real interest at the local real estate there. And what Joshua knows is that there will be a zoo and a backyard.

I get a little nostalgic thinking about leaving the only home that Joshua has ever known. Even though it's always seemed somewhat transitional to me, I know that he will not understand why we have to go, and I'm sure he'll miss our little apartment only the way his big heart can. We'll just have to make sure that he knows that home is wherever our family goes, I guess. And he's a flexible little guy, so he'll adapt and hopefully be no worse for wear in the end.

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