I've been thinking lately that mostly, being happy really is something that you can just decide to do. I know that people won't necessarily agree with me, but it's my theory. (Of course, I mean this in regard to everyday normal things, and not, say, clinical depression.) The thing is, I think that people use so many different things to try to be happy, but if they would just decide, and do it, their lives would be much simpler. You don't have to be the most popular person, or the richest person, or the most beautiful person - and chasing these things is fruitless, anyway. But I look at my life, and the little family I've been blessed with, and the friends I have, and I think, it's so easy to decide to be happy.
Of course, there are so many things that I could choose to be angry or upset about if I wanted to. Joshua decides to skip an afternoon nap, and the whole rest of the day is shot and miserable. My choice . . . to be upset with him, or to be understanding and know that he's only a baby and going to sleep is pretty darn hard sometimes. Tim buys the wrong kind of chicken at the store. Do I get angry with him because he should know what kind of chicken to buy, or do I decide that sometimes husbands make mistakes, and if he knew it was the wrong kind, he wouldn't have bought it in the first place? The easy way out is to get upset, I think. I'm going to try to choose the other way . . . hard as it may seem since Tim really should know what kind of chicken to buy ;-)
This is not all to say that I don't make mistakes. I'll be the first to admit that I do, and that I have to ask for forgiveness from my husband more than I'd like! (Thankfully he's the most loving and forgiving person you'll ever meet in your life.) And I'm sure that down the road I'll have to ask Joshua's forgiveness for something I'll say or do without thinking first. BUT at least I'm trying, and that's mostly all of the battle. And maybe I'm winning, because I sure am raising a wonderfully happy baby!
This past week Grandma and Grandpa Waller came to visit. What a great time they had with Joshua! They have two grandkids, and haven't seen either lately since they've been out of the states for the last 6 months or so. They took Joshua for walks every day so that he could see the birds (his very favorite animal in the world right now), they played "Noah's Ark" with him, gave him snacks of fruit and cottage cheese, and even babysat while Tim and I went to a movie! Now they're on their way to visit firstborn grandson Elijah, and I know they'll have just as great a time with him.
It's so neat to see how grandparents play with grandkids, though. They have so much energy to just play and play, and Joshua's grandparents do everything they want him to, plus some. My parents are coming to visit next month, and they'll spoil him all over again. In fact, that's the only hard part - getting back on routine after the grandparents have gone. All of a sudden, gasp, Joshua has to play by himself for a short time while I'm fixing dinner. Or, and I realize that this really is almost the end of the world, Joshua can't go for a walk at exactly the moment he chooses. He truly does let me know, by the way, that it's going to be the end of the world. His face gets all screwed up, and his mouth forms a little "O" shape, while his eyes plead for mercy, and for me to just open the door, for the love of all that is good!
And even during these semi-meltdowns, I still choose to be happy with Joshua and who he is, and love him that much more.
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